Welcome to this new feature on TWBB. In “Crap I Invented but am too lazy to follow through with” we take a look at some of my brilliant ideas and throw them out there for the world to steal and make millions. Sure, I could make some dough off of my beautiful mind but again, I’m way too lazy.
Today’s Idea: TOWEL/SHIRT
Toweling off after a shower wastes valuable time. Clothing (like towels) is made of fabric and fabric absorbs water. Generally I just let my regular clothes do the job. Why not? Saves me time.
Sometimes though you need to go from shower to car to important meeting and you can’t have it looking like you just lost in a super-soaker fight. Enter the Towel Shirt.
If I were not lazy, I’d design a beautiful terrycloth t-shirt that one could just put on after they shower. By the time they brush their teeth, they’d be dry and ready to get dressed for the day.
Why not use a robe? Because robes are for women. Why not just use a normal towel? Good question. I’m all about being lazy and towel = effort. Why spend time drying this part or that when you can just Shirtowel®? I just came up with a name for it right there, Shirtowel®.
So, although this idea is a million dollar one, don’t look for it on your store shelves anytime soon because I might just spend enough energy to trademark and patent it but not enough to follow through and make it.
TWBB gives Shirtowel® 1 Hank.
Popularity: 8% [?]
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Welcome to “Made Up Studio Movie” the feature where we come up with a catchy phrase and base an entire story around it. Today’s completely made up studio movie is:
Knight and Day
Miller (Tom Cruise) is a secret agent who goes on a blind date with unlucky-in-love June Havens (Cameron Diaz), and ends up pulling her into a serious yet comedic journey to protect a powerful battery that holds the key to an infinite power source.
During their glamorous and sometimes deadly adventure, nothing and no one – even the now fugitive couple – are not what they seem. Amid shifting alliances and unexpected betrayals, they race across the globe, with their survival ultimately hinging on the battle of truth vs. trust.
Hilarity ensues.
We give this movie 0 Hanks
UPDATE: It has come to our attention that this movie has already been made and will be in theaters in June. Whoops. Who knew?
Popularity: 8% [?]
This is a new feature to TWBB in which we (a small and humble blog) come up with a ridiculous movie title and then base a poorly put together story around it. Then, we sell it to a studio and make millions. Get out your hankies.
Today’s Made Up Studio Movie is:
“The Meaning of Blythe”
Renée Zellweger plays Blythe, a bitter 42 year old woman, unlucky in love and resigned to one day becoming a cat lady.
On the eve of her 43rd birthday (at the urging of a friend) she reluctantly goes to a women’s empowerment seminar and her eyes open to a whole new way of living.
Blythe does things she never would have done before; she skydives, has a one night stand, quits her job and travels Europe alone. She forgets all about the problems with her life and finally begins to live it. When she is truly coming to peace with herself, she meets the man of her dreams and then has to decide whether to follow her new carefree path in life or make the the choice to pursue what could end up being the most meaningful relationship she ever had.
©2010 TWBB
Damn we’re good.
We give this idea 0 Hanks
…and hey big hollywood movie studios, please use the contact tab at the top of the page to reach us.
Popularity: 12% [?]
Wowie, wow, wow. What an exciting first twenty minutes of a blockbuster this was.
I’ve watched the first twenty minutes of a lot of films in my time, but this twenty minutes had it all.
The Story:
The movie started off with a bang. RDJ (Robert Downey Junior) was in perfect form, playing Charlie Chaplin in old timey London. He and his sidekick (played by the much less “in demand” and balding actor Jude Law) catch a bad criminal through what appears to be sheer luck.
About ten minutes in is when we get out first taste of “speed changes” (where the film is slowed down and then sped up in order to make something boring take longer). Then, RDJ gets an unexpected visit from and old friend and then some crap happens that seems weird on the surface but ultimately will probably pan out to be reasonably explainable in the end.
The Acting:
The acting was amazing in this one. It was extremely over the top and cartoony without being too “real”. This is a balance that some less seasoned actors have a hard time achieving.
Robert Downey Junior pulled off what may have been a stunning transformation from an American into a British person. I say “may have” because it was impossible to understand a word of what he said but sounded legit to me and I got the general idea. Jude Law on the other hand, seemed to struggle with coming off as an authentic British person. Hey Jude, ever heard of a dialect coach?
TWBB Summary:
All I can say is “Bravo Guy Ritchie”. You’ve done it again. You have truly succeeded in making a movie here.
It has a start and undoubtedly some sort of ending, it has slow motion, quick motion, things break and explode, men take their shirts off and there are horses too.
The first twenty minutes of Sherlock Holmes gets 6 Hanks.
Popularity: 38% [?]
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